Today, I drove Mom up to the Harvard Bookstore so that she could see if they'd take some used books to sell. At one of the most stressful intersctions, I muttered "I hate this city." Mom asked if I really did. My answer was "Sometimes."

It got me thinking, though. There's something very hypocritical about a frightening number of the people here. It's not intentionally so, nor do I even know if they realize it's going on.

But here it is: Cambridge is a very diverse city -- and they're rightfully proud of that. At the high school graduation on Thursday, announcements were made in English, Haitian Creole, Spanish and Portuguese. The school's motto is "Opportunity. Diversity. Respect." More than half the speakers talked about that motto, but most about the diversity part of it.

It's absolutely true that Cambridge is a diverse place. There are so many more ethnicities than there are in Charlotte, and they're far more integrated that there. Socially, ethnically and racially, it's an incredible melting pot.

But when the mayor mentioned Obama during her remarks on Thursday, the entire crowd cheered. The. entire. crowd.

So why is no one talking about diversity of opinion?

I bring this up for two reasons: I'm incredibly contrary, and I adore intelligent debate. The first reason is pretty self-explanatory. If everyone has the same opinion, I'll go against them, because I'm just annoyingly pig-headed. The second reason is more complex. I can't stand honest-to-God conflict, but I thrive on debate. I need people to disagree with me, or I'll make myself disagree with them.

So I'm living in the same city as what is arguably the single greatest intellectual hub in the world, and no one is really debating politics. Everyone supports Obama and believes that global warming needs to be stopped. They're all for gay marriage and lord knows they're probably all pro-choice. If I were to say that I supported McCain, I probably wouldn't get an honest debate. I'd get funny looks or laughter. Who knows?

But how can you learn to argue your point when everyone cheers for the same candidate? And what happens when you go into the world and it turns out that your new crush -- this amazing guy blah blah -- disagrees with you?



Besides, if we're here much longer, I'm going to become a McCain supporter because I am that contrary.

I have proof, I tell you, proof.

That is, now I have something more than my own impressions (and my knowledge of CMS curriculums) to prove that I'm not getting as good an education this year as I was last year or would be in Charlotte.

Last year, in English, we did what's called the Inquiry Paper. It's a huge project that counts for 25% of your fourth-quarter grade, same as the Author Project I did this year. I worked hard on my IP, which was about Lewis Carroll's use of satire. There were multiple rough drafts. I got several classmates whose opinions I respected to edit it, and asked both my (writer) parents to do the same. We were required to have two print sources (other than the books we read) and three online sources. This project, though, was huge. And it was hard. I worked at the research, at the writing, and at the editing.

I got a 93. As far as I know, it was the second-highest grade in the class.

I'm pleased with that grade, but that's not the point. The point will become clear in time.

The Author Project this year was, granted, more writing, so each piece counted less towards the final grade. But it was still a large amount of writing that I did about an English satirist. The difference is that I didn't work nearly as hard on this. I wrote one of the essays at 6:00 AM, in under half an hour. The only research I did was last-minute googling. (And reading carrole's thesis, but that was interesting.) The only people who edited the essays were me and Miss Fairbanks, and she didn't even edit all of them. In short, I didn't work nearly as hard on this project as I did on the IP.

I got a 98.

My writing, citing, et cetera, have not gotten five percentage points better. I know that, because much of the writing on my IP was better than on my Author Project.

So there's the proof. (That, and the fact that I couldn't do Llili's physics homework.)


x-posted to miraxcorran

Get it together! I'm not even watching the game, but talkingbanana's updates on score (and, occasionally, how my team is getting away with traveling because they're losing the ball anyways) are causing me pain.

As of right now, the score is 48 - 31 Kansas.

Let me just go mutter and anguish now.

I admit, sometimes I wish Cambridge were a more drivable city. It's a real pain to have to walk everywhere, or wait for buses in nasty weather.

But I do like my 25-minute walk home from school every day. It's a great way to clear my head, and remember all those little random tidbits that I wish I could remember when I first have the thought. Today, the tidbits I remembered were the term for a type of music that I was blanking on yesterday (it was counterpoint) and the name of the actor who played Lindsey MacDonald on Angel (Christian Kane). A few weeks ago, it was that Mirax is three years younger than Wedge, though it's possible that came from an unreliable source. Of course, from there, my train of thought headed towards the totally worthless. The combination of "Lindsey" with the use of the brand name Chanel in the song I was listening to ("Take It Like A Man" from Legally Blonde) had me thinking about Sarah Thompson's commentary on You're Welcome ...

Either way, the walking really is just something I like. And since I'm trying to be good about updating this journal, I though I'd mention it.

New York is, as always, awesome.

Mom and I went up for two days, give or take. We took the train up Friday afternoon and left Sunday evening. And because it was awesome, I figured I'd give an account of my (fabulous) trip.

( the name's so nice, you say it twice )

x-posted to miraxcorran 

It's horrifically clear that I'm terrible about updating this journal (assuming that anyone is reading it).

However, it's not like I don't have a reason.

A few weeks ago, I went to one of the Nieman seminars. It was by Robert Putnam on social capital, the bonds between people and suchly. I found it fascinating, especially how he said that when people move (and, thus, lose all their previously acquired social capital) they tend to draw into themselves and often prefer to associate with almost exclusively people with whom they have a lot in common (which is called bonding social capital).

So the good news is that I'm not a slacker, but that my almost total loss of social capital has caused me to draw into myself. Well, that, and the fact that this semester has been very work-heavy. On the first day of class, I was handed L'étranger  by Albert Camus in one class and Great Expectations by Dickens in another. So I've been reading those and working with them and so on and so forth. It's only in the past week that I've been able to do any reading of my own initiative, since I was also reading Mort by Terry Pratchett in Lit for an independent reading project. So, of course, having read several somewhat depressing books, I picked up The Other Boelyn Girl, since there's nothing to get over morbid existentialism like beheadings.

I've been going to occasional soundings this semester, which is nice. It means that one of the nights where I would've been sitting at home eating crap alone, I'm out eating not quite so unhealthy food with other people. On the one hand, that's helping with the loneliness. On the other, it, well, isn't. That one is more, complicated, though.

In other news, I was off school the week of Presidents' Day, and Lili and Amberli came up for the long weekend. That was pretty much fabulous. We walked all around Harvard square and yard, went to see Julius Caesar and had dinner in the North End one day. The next, we went to the Museum of Fine Art, shopping on Newbury street and to the Public Gardens to see the ducks. A great time was had. (At the same time, my grandma was here, though she stayed a full week.)

Other that those things, my life has been uneventful. We're playing Holst's Suite In E-flat in band, which I'm totally psyched about.

Well, it becomes clear that efforts on my part to update this journal regularly are somewhat futile. Oh well.

Anyways, first semester has ended. Thank god, too, though I will miss chemistry.

Today, I had my first ever figure skating lesson. Obviously, I'm not all that good yet, but the one thing I was truly terrible at should improve a lot next time I skate.

Afterwards, we went into the skate shop to ask about getting used skates and, low and behold, the woman running the shop had not one but two pairs of relatively soft women's nines. Mom got a pair, and so did I. Also, I learned that a lot of the reason I was having trouble doing snowplow stops is that my feet roll in - a lot. So I've gotten my skates build up (as well as fitted), which should help with the rolling issues.

I can't wait to try them out!



Mom's sounding is in 17 days. (Some food is prepared, power-point is not. And I need to teach her to scan ...)

Well, this is (yet again) a late update.

But I would just like to say that yesterday evening and this morning were quite wonderful. I acquired The Sweet Far Thing, Libba Bray's new book, of which the first 160 pages have pleased me very much. My two good friends and I watched Ang Lee's Sense & Sensibility, and then proceeded to confuse ourselves by watching Love Actually, in which Elinor is married to Brandon (but he cheats on her) and Edward is busily running England (and falling for the cookie girl.) The entire evening was brilliantly fun.

And has, unfortunately, served to remind me of just how much I adore my friends here in Charlotte. We talked through two entire movies (actually, we paid perfect attention while Hugh Grant was dancing), chatted for hours about nothing, argued about duvet covers, made Ted bring us food, and ate hot chocolate mix straight from the bag.

I have a dilemma. It's kind of like deja vu, really. I think I've done this once twice too many times before.

I kind of had a break-down this afternoon about movies and other unimportant things. It was, I think, partly low blood sugar and partly depression about this whole damn year.

Oh well.

And I passed my driving test. w00t!

Well, didn't update yesterday. I win. :p

Anyways, Ellie came over for dinner, which was pretty much amazing. We watched "Welcome to the Hellmouth" (omg yay hot sexy Angel!) and messed around online and generally had a great time.

And I'm taking my driving test this morning.

Excuse me while I PANIC!

Right now I'm just blogging to keep my hands from shaking. I panicked to Bria a few minutes ago, and she mostly talked me down and then she had to leave and guess what? I'm freaking out again. But I'm excited too.

Go me?

Also, Ellie and I are going to the mall later. It will be awesome, as will my sleepover with other friends. (Omg yay hot sexy Kartik!)

I'm now through babbling randomly and my hands are shaking a little bit less.

Deep breath. Deep breath ...

Today was a very blah Christmas Day, I must tell you. There were few presents given out this morning, for a variety of reasons. My big one from the parents was a laptop that I got back before Thanksgiving, and no one wanted to bring the big presents down, so they're still in Cambridge, among other reasons.

I've also been feeling pretty bummed, just because being here reminds me how much I miss the life that I would have were we not in Cambridge. That's one of the more painful aspects of this year, actually. Mom was an alternate who got accepted, but before she knew she was an alternate, so told me she hadn't gotten it.

This was in the middle of May. I'd basically been not thinking about "next year" from the time I found out that she was applying for the fellowship, so all of that kind of came in a rush. Every "maybe I'll do this next year" and "won't it be fun to (fill in the blank) next year" just came rushing in.

And we left anyways.

It's just been bittersweet being back for a little bit. Church last night was, too. We saw the bells play, and I miss being up there and being in that group - but there are parts of that that I don't miss in the least.

It's all very vexed and twisted, I must say.


I'll try to do a more upbeat and Christmassy post tomorrow or another day.

I've a couple of things to say.

First, isn't my new Christmassy journal beautiful? (Also, the title is - yet again - from a song. This time it's Winter Wonderland. The previous title, To Be Where You Belong, was from the Beatles' song Honey Pie.)

Second, I hope to post once a day for the twelve days of Christmas, to make up for the fact that I literally never post to this poor, lonely journal. (There is, however, a possibility that some of those posts will be about how lonely I am.)

Third, as Clement Moore said:

A happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Life's going well - in fact, today was quite wonderful.

A friend of mine who lives in Hartford came up to visit for the day, and we basically spent the whole afternoon shopping. Can you say fun? (And it was quite productive. I now have only a minuscule bit of Christmas shopping left.) We took the T into Copley square in Boston and went to Copley and Prudential malls.

The malls are really nice, by the way. We explored many wonderful designer stores that neither of us could afford - by the way, Coach has some seriously nice gloves with cashmere lining. Had lunch at the food court, then made with the Christmas shopping. I've got most of mine down now.

Once that was all done, we bought some cheesecake to go at the Cheesecake Factory and too the T up to the Cambridgeside Galleria in hopes of acquiring some DVDs. The quest was a success, and once I'd been given (yet another) DVD set that my mother can make fun of me for, we ate our cheesecake and talked some serious fandom. We are that cool.

Anyways, after the last bit of shopping, we came back to the apartment for a few, then I went with my friend while she got gas. Only problem was, the gas station at the corner had closed. So we went driving around a little bit looking for one. In the process, we nearly got lost. And found nothing. Because she was running on fumes, we headed down to Mt Auburn Street, where she said she'd been a gas station earlier. We get there - and the gas station is closed.

The next what must've been five that we saw were closed, too. I'm having terrible thoughts about being stranded on the side of the road in 20-degree weather with only her cell phone - that was almost out of battery.

Finally, we find a gas station. When we pull in, we're just laughing insanely. I'm totally relieved and I've never been happier to see a gas station, I can tell you that. She confesses that she was going to tell me to memorize the numbers of any cabs that I might see go by in case we needed to call for help.

Either way, it was just hysterically funny - once it was over.

I'm going to try and send out some Christmas cards this year, so if you want one - and haven't told me so already - comment with your address. Comments will be screened so I'll be the only one who can see them, but if that makes you antsy, my email is maggiebarrows@gmail.com.

Woohoo Christmas!

Kelly Clarkson sings about what "The trouble with love is."

I speak on the trouble with physics.

My physics class is hands-down my least favorite this semester. I'm sure, however, that is has nothing to with the fact that I love higher-lever math, the criminal justice system and teachers who share my sarcastic sense of humor - which hits my other three.

But either way, there is some trouble with physics.

Here, the class is called Physics First. It's taught, for the most part, to freshmen, many of whom haven't even taken algebra 1. Because of that, the math is dumbed down quite a lot. In fact, there's a distinct that I'm not even getting a good education in physics, the math is dumbed down so much. Never having taken another physics, I have no idea whether that's the case. Either way, it means that I could pass the class - well - just by plugging the right numbers into the right formulas. It also means that a lot of emphasis is put on things like teaching students how to rearrange v = dt to know that t = v/d or that d = v/t, things that I can do in my sleep. (There's some whacked out triangle thing they use. Me, I just divide by d or t, respectively.)

The physics classes at CRLS aren't tracked. Instead of taking the honors class, you choose the honors option in a standard-level class. Beats me why they're doing it that way, but I don't think that it encourages students to pick honors. First off, all the extra work that you're doing has to be pointed out so that the kids who aren't doing honors don't do it. Second, if you do the work without asking for the honors, you get extra credit. Talk about a disencentive to get honors credit!

So the class isn't all that good. Also, the students are obnoxious. Maybe it's a freshman thing, maybe it's because I'm used to honors students and they're not, maybe it'sjust them.

Either way, the class provides me with a good opportunity to practice my cursive, which, incidentally, has gotten a lot better this year. (This I mostly do my babbling randomly about whatever TV show I watched last night. Woohoo.)

(12/7 - Inserting a post-script to say that I don't think every student in that class in an idiot, or obnoxious. Just that I think there's a higher percentage of them who are than in most of my other classes. Sorry, Lucy!)

Well, Tuesday was election day and - for once! - there's good news coming out of Charlotte. How amazing is that?!

To start, though, the bad news: Kaye McGarry got reelected. That just bites, but at least there's lots of good news!

The school bonds passed. I'm thrilled. I'm over the moon. I'm giddy. A lot of people don't get that if you're going to bitch about how the public schools suck, you should at least have the decency to try and make them better. So very good news about the school bonds passing.

There were some other bonds that passed, but because charlotte.com is idiotic, I can't find what they were.

Also, the transit tax didn't get repealed! Time to throw a massive feast in celebration of the fact that some people in that city see the value of public transportation!

Well, I have an amusing story to tell - for once.

A few weeks ago, I was out to brunch on Sunday morning with my parents, some friends of the family, and some friends of theirs. The brunch was pleasant and the food was wonderful, yadda yadda yadda.

But just was we were finishing up, a couple of guys came running in, dressed in nice pants and sport coats. They introduced themselves as the krokodiloes, Harvard's oldest a capella group and claimed to have been ditched by the rest of the singers. As they began to sing, though, the rest of the guys came running in, one at a time.

They did an entire short performance in the restaurant, which was just amazingly fun.

(Of course, my father, who doesn't like live music, looked a little bit appalled when I crawled over him to be able to see better. We'd somehow managed to get one of three tables or something that the guys had their backs to.)

During their last number, they actually danced. Seriously. Two of the guys got in the middle and danced - think Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, only less talented.

Not only was it great fun, but it was a brilliant way to get people to remember them.

And I loved it!

If gratitude and esteem are good foundations of affection, Elizabeth's change of sentiment will be neither improbable nor faulty. But if otherwise, if the regard springing from such sources is unreasonable or unnatural, in comparison of what is so often described as arising on a first interview with its object, and even before two words have been exchanged, nothing can be said in her defence, except that she had given somewhat of a trial to the latter method, in her partiality for Wickham, and that its ill-success might authorise her to seek the other less interesting mode of attachment. Be that as it may, she saw him go with regret.

~ Pride and Prejudice (Volume 3, chapter 4; pages 265-266 Penguin Edition 2003)

Well, I've been bad and haven't updated this journal in forever, but there you are. I do have a lot to tell about to make up for it - and tons of pictures! (Just in case people have slow connections, I'll put those behind cuts.)

A few days before my birthday - I know, I know - I got to sit in on a seminar of James Wood's about Pride and Prejudice. It was seriously one of the most fascinating things I've ever done. I took more than three pages of notes, which I've been thoughtful enough to scan into the computer, though whether or not anyone will be able to make heads or tails of them.


Another cool thing that I did was an apple-picking trip with a ton of the Niemans. We went up to an orchard in the town of Harvard and picked lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of apples. It was awesome - and I've found a new variety of apple to love. Macoons are pretty much the best ever. And I had some really good sparkling cider! Afterwards, we went to the house of a former Nieman fellow and had apple crisp and I got to practice throwing a football. It was a very pleasant afternoon.

Pictures (not taken by me):


I also have some pictures that I took of my room, when it was somewhat clean. Kate was over here for a few hours, so I needed to speed-baby-proof. (That's the reason that she's in a few of the pictures.)


Finally, I have one of, if nor the most exciting thing that I've done since getting up here: I got to hang with a friend of mine whom I'd never met before. (FYI, it's helplessdancer.)

Yeah, I know, it sounds whack, but bear with me here. I had a great time and it was pretty much amazing. Totally surreal, though.

 This past weekend, Mom and I flew back to Charlotte for my sixteenth birthday party. 

The word awesome doesn't even begin to cover it. 


All in all, I had a fabulous time and I wish it could have lasted longer.